Old is subjective.
To a 7 year old, 22 is old while to a 35 year old, 22 is young.
But within the Malay community, a 29 year old woman who is only starting to plan her wedding that will be estimated to happen in 2 years time is OLD. It gives an implication that the lady is flawed. Whether she is too choosy or just not an ideal partner.
So what is with the hold up? I just want to enjoy my dating years and not just the type of lady who is eager to get married. It helps that I can be a pessimistic so I don't see the ideology of marriage like most ladies do. So I relax ah! In a way, I am glad for that kind of thinking because I've been in long term relationships that didn't work out. Imagine if I had married them? Confirm divorcee =p
I digress.
So now I am ready to get married with the man of my dreams and beyond (cheh cheh), and been researching vendors. I realized that there are 3 extra vendors and 2 wedding issues that weddings in the past do not have. It is practically the in thing for 'younger' BTB. Note that I am not mocking these vendors or BTB. I respect their business, likes and dislikes. I am sharing the fact that I am too old for these 'in thing' and it helps a lot in my budgeting. =D
Disclaimer: Jhon is 31 year old GTB and either have the same thoughts with me or just indifferent about some of these things.
Photo booth
If you have been to a fair share of weddings or even seen photos of it, most wedding have a photo booth. It is basically a background set up with fun and wacky props for guests to take photos in. Photos later can be for keeps or placed in the wedding guestbook for the bride and groom to see. Props can also be DIY for a more personal touch.
[Zudrya Creation]
I understand the concept. It's fun, entertaining and bonding for guests, but it's not for us. I can see some are pretty cool in terms of prop and photo quality as photo above but we personally don't find it necessary. In fact, we find it silly not in a good way and don't have a wedding vibe, it's more to a random party vibe.
Costs Averted: $400 to $900
Faux Bridal Bouquet
What is a bride without her bouquet? Beautiful fresh flowers that compliments the beautiful bride. But alas fresh flowers tend to be so cliche' because "real flowers wilt and die" whereas a faux bouquet can be kept for keepsake especially BTBs had paid good money for them.
[left: Budgetnista Chic, Right: Heirblooms]
Frankly speaking, I am a little torn by this one because some vendors do create really beautiful and unique faux bouquets but I am a sucker for fresh flowers. True, it's always great to have wedding mementos but it's the natural smell, feel and beauty that I always fall for. Plus, bridal bouquets tend to come together with bridal/deco packages so I don't see the need to hassle myself with another vendor and cost.
Cost Adverted: $150 and above (unless go DIY)
(Specially made) Dessert Bar
Usually, a standard desert table comes together with the caterer. It basically comes as a set but some brides likes to outsource a dessert table for a more unique and favorable desserts. It is because standard dessert tables comes with traditional desserts whereas specially made dessert table caters for modern taste buds with macaroons, cupcakes, marshmallows etc
[Ola Lola]
Jhon and I personally love traditional desserts. Although we know it is meant more for guests than us, it's just not us to have that kind of dessert table I guess. We don't see the necessity especially forking out additional costs just to have a specially made dessert table.
Cost Adverted: $1000++ depending on PAX
Bachelorette Party (Hen party)
When mention Bachelor/ Bachelorette party, it would be the last thing in mind when relating to a Malay wedding but now, it is. I understand the hype in celebrating with your closest friends and also help calm the BTB's jitters. It's fun with dress up, pampering and games...
[Chasethebride]
...but it's not my thing. "Kakak tua ni tak pernah exposed to hen party... cuma kat TV Mat Saleh aje. dulu orang melayu kahwin, tak pernah nak party-party macam gini pun" >_< That is my makcik2 thinking. Firstly, planning and costs would be on the bridesmaids or friends and I really don't have the heart burden people that way. Secondly, I have only 1 really close friend excluding Sis and SIL I would like to 'party' with. lol
Cost Adverted for others: $500++
Bridesmaids
Hahh.. Another western tradition. Bridesmaids is basically 'orang kuat' to help with the little things or support you in your wedding. In Malay weddings, we don't really have a special stature for it. Everyone who is willing to help is 'orang kuat'. We don't have to especially appoint someone and give them position to it.
For the first time, I was appointed as Maid of Honour to an old best friend and I was blur to the max.(because for a malay wedding?) I just helped and dedicated with whatever I could but little did I know, you girls were very serious with bridesmaids issues. Not that she felt I was not up to par, she just wanted me to help with minor stuff but now, bridesmaids has a whole different level for me.
[AfnanOmar Photography]
Specially appointed positions lead V.I.P treatment to them too. This issue could be touche because I may come off as stingy and ungrateful. I just find the need to also get special made outfits and sometimes thank you gifts a little too much. Since the bridesmaid or M.O.H is the BTB's bestfriend so of course it's all sincere but my thinking is that, helping a BTB is a natural thing and I personally think it's a little over the top. Again, this is my old, conservative woman thinking okay?
We used to buy and provide cloths to our relatives in the past to indicate they are family during the wedding but that practice is gone but instead to friends. To me, "tak payah beli untuk siapa-siapa lah!" except for close family members of course.
Cost Adverted: $500 and above depending on PAX
With just that, we managed to save a minimum of $3000! So in way, it's not so bad to be an old bride eh? lol
Sorry if I accidentally hurt some BTB ya... I totally respect if it's what you like so respect me that this is what I don't.
To a 7 year old, 22 is old while to a 35 year old, 22 is young.
But within the Malay community, a 29 year old woman who is only starting to plan her wedding that will be estimated to happen in 2 years time is OLD. It gives an implication that the lady is flawed. Whether she is too choosy or just not an ideal partner.
So what is with the hold up? I just want to enjoy my dating years and not just the type of lady who is eager to get married. It helps that I can be a pessimistic so I don't see the ideology of marriage like most ladies do. So I relax ah! In a way, I am glad for that kind of thinking because I've been in long term relationships that didn't work out. Imagine if I had married them? Confirm divorcee =p
I digress.
So now I am ready to get married with the man of my dreams and beyond (cheh cheh), and been researching vendors. I realized that there are 3 extra vendors and 2 wedding issues that weddings in the past do not have. It is practically the in thing for 'younger' BTB. Note that I am not mocking these vendors or BTB. I respect their business, likes and dislikes. I am sharing the fact that I am too old for these 'in thing' and it helps a lot in my budgeting. =D
Disclaimer: Jhon is 31 year old GTB and either have the same thoughts with me or just indifferent about some of these things.
Photo booth
If you have been to a fair share of weddings or even seen photos of it, most wedding have a photo booth. It is basically a background set up with fun and wacky props for guests to take photos in. Photos later can be for keeps or placed in the wedding guestbook for the bride and groom to see. Props can also be DIY for a more personal touch.
I understand the concept. It's fun, entertaining and bonding for guests, but it's not for us. I can see some are pretty cool in terms of prop and photo quality as photo above but we personally don't find it necessary. In fact, we find it silly not in a good way and don't have a wedding vibe, it's more to a random party vibe.
Costs Averted: $400 to $900
Faux Bridal Bouquet
What is a bride without her bouquet? Beautiful fresh flowers that compliments the beautiful bride. But alas fresh flowers tend to be so cliche' because "real flowers wilt and die" whereas a faux bouquet can be kept for keepsake especially BTBs had paid good money for them.
Frankly speaking, I am a little torn by this one because some vendors do create really beautiful and unique faux bouquets but I am a sucker for fresh flowers. True, it's always great to have wedding mementos but it's the natural smell, feel and beauty that I always fall for. Plus, bridal bouquets tend to come together with bridal/deco packages so I don't see the need to hassle myself with another vendor and cost.
Cost Adverted: $150 and above (unless go DIY)
(Specially made) Dessert Bar
Usually, a standard desert table comes together with the caterer. It basically comes as a set but some brides likes to outsource a dessert table for a more unique and favorable desserts. It is because standard dessert tables comes with traditional desserts whereas specially made dessert table caters for modern taste buds with macaroons, cupcakes, marshmallows etc
Jhon and I personally love traditional desserts. Although we know it is meant more for guests than us, it's just not us to have that kind of dessert table I guess. We don't see the necessity especially forking out additional costs just to have a specially made dessert table.
Cost Adverted: $1000++ depending on PAX
Bachelorette Party (Hen party)
When mention Bachelor/ Bachelorette party, it would be the last thing in mind when relating to a Malay wedding but now, it is. I understand the hype in celebrating with your closest friends and also help calm the BTB's jitters. It's fun with dress up, pampering and games...
...but it's not my thing. "Kakak tua ni tak pernah exposed to hen party... cuma kat TV Mat Saleh aje. dulu orang melayu kahwin, tak pernah nak party-party macam gini pun" >_< That is my makcik2 thinking. Firstly, planning and costs would be on the bridesmaids or friends and I really don't have the heart burden people that way. Secondly, I have only 1 really close friend excluding Sis and SIL I would like to 'party' with. lol
Cost Adverted for others: $500++
Bridesmaids
Hahh.. Another western tradition. Bridesmaids is basically 'orang kuat' to help with the little things or support you in your wedding. In Malay weddings, we don't really have a special stature for it. Everyone who is willing to help is 'orang kuat'. We don't have to especially appoint someone and give them position to it.
For the first time, I was appointed as Maid of Honour to an old best friend and I was blur to the max.(because for a malay wedding?) I just helped and dedicated with whatever I could but little did I know, you girls were very serious with bridesmaids issues. Not that she felt I was not up to par, she just wanted me to help with minor stuff but now, bridesmaids has a whole different level for me.
Specially appointed positions lead V.I.P treatment to them too. This issue could be touche because I may come off as stingy and ungrateful. I just find the need to also get special made outfits and sometimes thank you gifts a little too much. Since the bridesmaid or M.O.H is the BTB's bestfriend so of course it's all sincere but my thinking is that, helping a BTB is a natural thing and I personally think it's a little over the top. Again, this is my old, conservative woman thinking okay?
We used to buy and provide cloths to our relatives in the past to indicate they are family during the wedding but that practice is gone but instead to friends. To me, "tak payah beli untuk siapa-siapa lah!" except for close family members of course.
Cost Adverted: $500 and above depending on PAX
With just that, we managed to save a minimum of $3000! So in way, it's not so bad to be an old bride eh? lol
Sorry if I accidentally hurt some BTB ya... I totally respect if it's what you like so respect me that this is what I don't.
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