"When are you going to get married?"
"Are you pregnant already?"
"When will he/she get a new brother or sister?"
Ah... these are just a few of the usual life questions everyone will be asked. It's almost like a rite of passage.
I had handled the getting married question very well and never even once let it bothered me. My answers were always that I wanted to 'enjoy' or relax first. It was my honest answer and the fact people asked me, I was not peeved at all. In my mind, they are simply asking and judging or not, I didn't care because such decisions most likely would directly effect my life, not theirs.
Now that I'm married, here come the slew of questions on whether there is a bun in the oven.
[The answer is no by the way]
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There are a few ways to go about this and let's go through them.
🚼 Being funny or light-hearted
Hari Raya was about 2 months after our wedding so I was ready for the questions. I was so ready that I posted this on Facebook.
It did helped and only one Auntie had actually asked. haha
🚼 Being Mysterious
You can play with the person's mind by answering "Maybe?" or "Don't know?", grin and walk away. We can learn a lot in the animal kingdom and I find the confuse-the-predator-and-run method helps.
🚼 Seek Back Up
Most of the time, Mak is nearby when Jhon and I are served with such questions so after we gave our short answers, Mak would quipped saying "Aiyah... let them enjoy their married life first and their time will come". All we need to do was nod and smile.
🚼 Straight to the Point (Direct)
It's either you are pregnant or not right? Then just answer yes or no. Don't forget a smile though. We don't want to be rude, don't we?
🚼 Straight to the Point (PR style)
Say in the lines of
"We are trying (or not) but you know what? You will be the first few to know when we are"
🚼 Straight to the Point (Open Book)
Obviously, this only apply to who you are speaking to. If you are close and trust a relative or a friend, just share your situation. Of course, there is such thing as TMI unless your relationship is base on that but there's nothing wrong expressing your situation. You will never know, you may receive helpful tips if you are trying for a baby.
🚼 Change the Subject
This is best for those nosy people. Just shrug and change the subject to what is relevant or a topic that the person might be interested with like how Trump is president. Hah!
No matter that technique you use on how to deal with baby bump questions, the important thing is that you and your spouse is on the same page. Never let others ruin your cool composure. Yes, when questions are persistent, especially from the same person, it can be perpetually annoying. All you need to remember is that most of the time, these questions are coming from a place of love and they simply can't wait to see your potential bundle of joy.
I have no issue dealing with such questions but it does hit the soft spot when I said I'm not pregnant, they would give a sympathetic look. Even though we are not exactly trying, it made me feel like they are implying "Oh, sorry you failed" Imagined getting that face when a couple has been trying all their might. It must be tough.
No matter what, where you are trying or not, trudge on. Don't let questions ruin your day.
Everything happens for a reason and enjoy every moment.
"Are you pregnant already?"
"When will he/she get a new brother or sister?"
Ah... these are just a few of the usual life questions everyone will be asked. It's almost like a rite of passage.
I had handled the getting married question very well and never even once let it bothered me. My answers were always that I wanted to 'enjoy' or relax first. It was my honest answer and the fact people asked me, I was not peeved at all. In my mind, they are simply asking and judging or not, I didn't care because such decisions most likely would directly effect my life, not theirs.
Now that I'm married, here come the slew of questions on whether there is a bun in the oven.
[The answer is no by the way]
There are a few ways to go about this and let's go through them.
🚼 Being funny or light-hearted
Hari Raya was about 2 months after our wedding so I was ready for the questions. I was so ready that I posted this on Facebook.
It did helped and only one Auntie had actually asked. haha
🚼 Being Mysterious
You can play with the person's mind by answering "Maybe?" or "Don't know?", grin and walk away. We can learn a lot in the animal kingdom and I find the confuse-the-predator-and-run method helps.
🚼 Seek Back Up
Most of the time, Mak is nearby when Jhon and I are served with such questions so after we gave our short answers, Mak would quipped saying "Aiyah... let them enjoy their married life first and their time will come". All we need to do was nod and smile.
🚼 Straight to the Point (Direct)
It's either you are pregnant or not right? Then just answer yes or no. Don't forget a smile though. We don't want to be rude, don't we?
🚼 Straight to the Point (PR style)
Say in the lines of
"We are trying (or not) but you know what? You will be the first few to know when we are"
🚼 Straight to the Point (Open Book)
Obviously, this only apply to who you are speaking to. If you are close and trust a relative or a friend, just share your situation. Of course, there is such thing as TMI unless your relationship is base on that but there's nothing wrong expressing your situation. You will never know, you may receive helpful tips if you are trying for a baby.
🚼 Change the Subject
This is best for those nosy people. Just shrug and change the subject to what is relevant or a topic that the person might be interested with like how Trump is president. Hah!
No matter that technique you use on how to deal with baby bump questions, the important thing is that you and your spouse is on the same page. Never let others ruin your cool composure. Yes, when questions are persistent, especially from the same person, it can be perpetually annoying. All you need to remember is that most of the time, these questions are coming from a place of love and they simply can't wait to see your potential bundle of joy.
I have no issue dealing with such questions but it does hit the soft spot when I said I'm not pregnant, they would give a sympathetic look. Even though we are not exactly trying, it made me feel like they are implying "Oh, sorry you failed" Imagined getting that face when a couple has been trying all their might. It must be tough.
No matter what, where you are trying or not, trudge on. Don't let questions ruin your day.
Everything happens for a reason and enjoy every moment.
Tell me about it! Been married 4 years and still no baby, at last people stop asking finally lol. I dun get my makciks when they asked me loudly "bila nak dapat anak?!?!", especially when their own newly wedded daughter just gave birth. Very insensitive and rude. Apa ni, ada competition ke? Boleh blah. Kalau aku pregnant kan boleh nampak dari perut haiz..i just dont understand the mindset. Very religious but ask such question. Manalah aku tahu bile nak dapat anak kan? Allah SWT aje yg tahu. Hopefully the next generation (which is us!) will be more mindful and tactful. Ok rant dah habis thanks you haha and may both of u be blessed with a bundle of joy soon, amin.
ReplyDeletehahaha Precisely, they might mean well when they ask but sometimes it may hurt the couple's feelings especially they have been trying hard right? So it took them 4 years to stop asking huh? Good to know ada limit. haha
DeleteThank you for your well wishes and you too! Amin. ;)