A.C.O.D - Adult Children Of Divorce

Real Talk

No matter at what age you are, 3, 10, 16, 21 or even 32 years old, when your parents divorce,

Even if you understand why especially as an adult because you can relate and literally witnessed your parent's relationship first hand. It sucks because every child always have that dream of having a happy family, that happily ever after. A dream obviously the parents wished too, once a upon a time.

As an adult, you know the dreaded 'D' was inevitable, it's just that all of us like to deny it's existence.
In such situations, ignorance was truly bliss.

Situations would turn so bitter but after a while, it would go back to 'normal' and it would go bad again. It is because of that, all of us, the children and sometimes parents think whenever feces hit the fan, we would tell ourselves, it will be fine eventually.

Imagine that cycle for 43 years of marriage hood.

The adult child can be grateful for parents withholding the lawful separation because the parent wanted to make sure all children are grown up and married off. But it still hurts. Usually, divorces involve younger children and majority think it's easier to handle for an adult child.

Not necessarily.

Growing up in an unhealthy relationship, watching your parents fight or see them ignore each other like the plaque every single day does take a toll on us whether we like it or not. Even more so when you live under one roof and everyday, you can feel the tension that can be cut with a knife.

In some instances, a divorce that ends amicably has no problems at all but we all know those chances are slim especially when infidelity and money is involved.

When it comes to divorce, money is ALWAYS involved.

Obviously, I'm not going to indulge into personal information but the reason I am writing on such topics is because the same reason I share most things here. I know there are people out there that are experiencing similar situations too. I know this because I would get random personal messages or emails sharing their own experiences. They felt that they can relate and glad that they are not alone.

There's someone who can lend a ear and then there's someone who has been there too.

There are many scenarios in every relationship and divorce. I won't go through them all but I suppose what always boils down is...

What's next?

Who goes where? Who does what? What can we do to salvage our relationship as a family?
It's not always easy and clear as day.

The day was inevitable for the family and even so, we were never ready for it. Just because we seemingly accepting of the situation (no point being upset or angry) that does not mean it's okay. Sometimes parents think this acceptance as a green light too and they want to share their other not-so-secret life.

Dear all A.C.O.D, I can't really say that it will get better because as of around 2017, if everything goes smoothly, my siblings and I are one of you. I can predict tough roads ahead with frustrating decisions but as the dust settles, as we get the 'hang' of it, just like any other obstacles in life.

It will be okay.

We will be okay.