My First Mother's Day

Thanks to Sarah, I am celebrating Mother's day for the first time. 
I guess it depends to each individual because some already celebrated it while pregnant? 

So, how do I feel on Mother's day? 


All this time, I've never thought much about Mother's day. I mean, I do celebrate it for my mom by going out for lunch or dinner. I do it because she wishes to be celebrated on the day; a day to be treated extra special, a day to be put on a pedestal.

But now that I get to "own" a day, I realized that I feel indifferent about it, like how I feel about Valentine's day. I am not a big fan of having a date authorizing when to express acts of love. 

On Saturday, Jhon and I brought Mak to BaliThai and jalan-jalan looking for her replacement Scholl shoes. Mission accomplished and we bid farewell to one happy Mak.

Throughout the day, we had people wishing us happy mother's day. Every single time, after they wished me, it would take me a milisecond to realized that I am a mother too! Isn't it weird? Sarah is almost 9 months and somehow I haven't officially registered that I am a mom. Haha 

Is it because I don't feel like a mom? 
How does being a mom feel like anyways?

On Sunday, we visited Ayah who is currently in the hospital for knee surgery and went home.
That was it.

Anyways, this day made me reflect on what kind of mom I am and what kind of mom I will be. I am pretty sure those who knows me well has already categorized me as a strict, no nonsense type, which is true but I also still have a playful and wacky side too. 

Well, Sarah, my dear, I know I am probably will not be the best mom and I may not have good days now and again but know that I will be the world's okayest mom.

I will probably not serve you organic or fancy superfood but you will never be hungry. I may control your handphone time but you may watch the TV. I may be strict in doing homework and chores but I will play with you afterwards. I can't pamper you with fancy toys or gadgets but I will with love and attention.

I may lose my cool, I may nag and I may upset you once in awhile. But know that I will always love you and strive to improve. My only hopes are that I will never disappoint you, you will never feel abandoned, always know that you have me (and your dad) to rely on, that we respect each other and hope you always make the right decisions in life.


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