The Tok Kadi (Qadi) Issue

Tok Kadi is basically the man who is going to wed the bride and groom under Islamic Law. Granted, I initially did not put much thought in it. I didn't care who but just someone who is not long winded in his sermon or advise =p

I went to ROMM’s website to educate ourselves the steps needed and my, oh my, leceh jugak eh? I thought call the Tok Kadi, say “I CHOOSE YOU, TOK KADI!” ala Pokemon then done. I know naïve. Not to mention the "interview" needed which kinda made people nervous. More on that on another post yea?

Registration and paying $39 was no issue until I realized that if Jhon is denied with his Permanent Residence application, we got extra paperwork to do. Jhon has to get a letter from Philippines to confirm the marital status, if single (not more than 3 months from date of issuance). So we really hope everything will go smoothly whether with or without PR. We can do this! But please lah, that need permission from the government is little too much.

The other issue that I absent-mindedly forgot is that I need a Tok Kadi who is well-spoken in English. (Details, man! Don’t forget the details!) Jhon can understand a little bit of Malay but getting solemnized in Malay is out of the question. He has to fully understand what he is saying right? Not that i am saying some Tok Kadi can't speak English well but what I mean a Tok Kadi who can deliver in English as powerful in Malay. You know... ada kick sikit.

Another wonder I had was how an ‘Akad Nikah’ (solemnization) does sounds like in English? Does it sound weird? Does it have the same feeling and emotion when recited in Malay? Of course, I looked it up. The first time I heard it, I cried. *face palm* And they haven’t get to the main parts of the solemnization *double face palm* Maybe it was the way the guy talked or maybe the words he said, but it really touched me. That was many months ago and I misplaced the video.

So luck or fate might have it, as I was casually checking out potential videographers, I found another solemnization in English. Nice leh. I also managed to find a website that showcases all Tok Kadi and Naib Kadi in action, get clicking to MalayWeddingServices.

It's kinda hard finding videos of Akad Nikah in English but managed to snag a couple. I 'chope' Uztad Hassan Bin Salim (first video) kan or not? And he happens to leave nearby!

Sidenote: It's better to get Tok Kadi who lives nearby your solemnization site to avoid accidentally tardy Tok Kadi and it's just courtesy lah, poor thing, if they have to travel to each corner of Singapore.

Kadi Hassan Bin Salim

Unedited version

Kadi Mohammad Irwan Shah Bin Sudirman

Besides the Akad Nikah, my favorite part is when the groom recites the Taqlik/Taklik. As fun as the Akad Nikah (On lookers sometimes anticipate the failure of the groom like we like to watch F1 because we want to see a car crash) is, I love to listen to the groom recite his promise to his (by then) wife. I love it more when they say with feeling and sincerity instead taking it as an oral exam.

Taqlik which is more emotional based for me, is technically default terms of the marriage for which it can be dissolved when the wife complains to the Syariah court. The groom will declare and promise that he will not hurt her (or her properties), not giving her nafkah (means of sustainability) by him or the next of kin for 6 months (thus the amount of the Mahar) and leaving her for more than 6 months and in which the court finds true will decree that the marriage is dissolved by One Talak.

I told Jhon, he must recite it while looking at me with full sincerity. I obviously have issues when it comes to marriage because to what I am exposed to so it would mean a lot to me.

I just hope I won’t get too emotional and bawl my eyes out. I am going to look like I am forced to get married in my wedding photos/videos. Haha

Updated: 3 more Tok Kadi

Kadi Firdaus Bin Yahya

Kadi Syed Ahmad Bin Syed Mohamed

Kadi Muhammad Tarmizi Bin Abdul Wahid
[Some how I could not find his name in ROMM's tok kadi list. It was last updated on 2011 and video was uploaded on 2013. So..... ROMM, please update to avoid confusion. hehe]


Our Wedding has passed!
Check out our experience with Tok Kadi Hassan here.

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