Shopping Day with the Tolentinos

In continuation of the big family dinner post, the next day, I went out with Jhon's family. It was 2 days before our big day and we are out and about. Technically, I should be at home, handling the tentage, decor people and such but I have no choice. The outing is a wedding related errand.

The thing was, I had already ordered outfits for Jhon's Mom (Ma) and Sis (Loi) from Poplook for our wedding. Everyone was to wear a shade of pink/purple of their own preferred design. The colors will vary but it will be a family color. Jhon's Dad (Pa) and Jayden will get their top/ outfit in Singapore.

Unfortunately, when they arrived and tried the Poplook outfits, Ma's top was too tight so Loi gave her top to her. Which means, Loi has no top to match her long skirt which in turn, we had to take an extra side trip to Geylang. All I can say is that it was a long and tiring day.

The good thing was, they get a little more sight seeing, from our place, Changi City Point to Geylang. The bad thing was we don't have personal transportation so it's going to be tiring especially for Ma who is still sickly.

First stop was Changi City Point to look for Pa's dress shirt. We also ended up doing some personal shopping. It's an outlet mall so yeah, we let them go crazy. Everyone had 1 pair of Nike sport shoes, even Jhon's bro, Paul and BIL, (Paolo) who were in the Philippines. That's not to mention a haul at Cotton On. lol Once in a while, boleh lah.

Checking out and feeding the Koi fishes.

On the way to Gelyang Serai for Loi's top & Jayden's baju kurung.

Loi is slimmer and TALLER than me. So she experienced the typical, outfit fits well but sleeves too short or sleeves just right but outfit too loose. In the end, I told them, we just buy a dress lah.
My thinking was if she wore a traditional top and the sleeves are short, it looks weird but if the sleeves are short for a dress, it's fashion lol. Plus, I have those outfit cinch thingy for her to borrow.

Jayden also got a pair of baju kurung at Joo Chiat. He looked so freaking cute lah!



The story of the stroller.
I told Jhon to tell his family to bring a stroller so it's easier to jalan-jalan but he didn't. On the day itself, I offered Abg's stroller (not been used anymore anyways) and they all were confident, can handle and carry Jayden as we went out. -_- Those who ever went out with kids can relate right?

I had to actually convince them to listen to me that it's going to be useful! Budak tu dah berat macam guni nasi. Boleh ke jalan satu hari? Nak shopping kan senang?? (lol rant) Obviously, he gave in and everyone was grateful for the stroller. Ah kan... nasib dengar cakap (rant belum habis). That stroller can fit in 3 of my nephews when they are roughly the same age but with Jayden, he fills up the entire space. lol

After Geylang, Jhon parted ways with us to collect our wedding photo shoot photos while I sent the family home. They came over for a while after dinner to sibuk2 with wedding stuff. Poor things, they were tired so I let them end the day early after Jhon henna Loi's hand.

Sneak Preview of their outfits!

 While waiting for the bride and groom, Jayden wear's a singlet first.

Tada!

   

Report of Marriage to Embassy of the Republic of Philippines

For all readers, especially those who have been following from the beginning of my #weddingtalk, sorry my timeline may be a little jumbled up.

For all international couples, please take note of this. After your wedding and honeymoon, report your marriage to the embassy of your spouse's country. The earlier, the better because it's important and it's to get the deed out of the way.

Since Jhon is from the Philippines, we went to the Embassy of the Republic of Philippines. I let Jhon take the lead for this one since it's his 'world'. We signed in at the main counter, told them our intentions which was to report our marriage and we were sent into the compound for queuing.

We went on a weekday morning so although there were quite a crowd, it was a fast process for us.

Documents needed, 4 copies of:
Filled Report of Marriage form
Spouses' Passport
Marriage Certificate (with original copy)

I brought our actual passports too just in case but they didn't refer to any of the original documents. But it's okay, better safe than sorry.

We received a pink slip for immediate payment of SG$42.50 and collect a letter 3 working days later (not sure if the amount of days are consistent), only to inform that our form has been issued to the Philippines for process. The entire thing will take about 6 months. Typical Philippines.

I will update more when we got the official confirmation.

   

Wedding DIY: Bunga Pahar, Henna, Bunga Rampai, Sireh lat-lat, Guestbook, Tepung Tawar & Directional Signs

I'm squeezing all my wedding DIY in one post because I've more or less wrote about them previously and this is just a final summary and outcome of the items.

Bunga Pahar

[read previous post here]

Jhon and I were mighty busy during the 2 days before our big day because Jhon's parents were in Singapore. We were out and about looking and shopping for wedding related stuff with them, mainly outfits. So we were grateful to know suddenly Kakak WhatsApp messaged me a picture of these.

 

 

Kakak and Mak had boiled, dyed and place the eggs into the bunga pahar egg holders. Mak had use these red dyes she bought at a Tradional Chinese Medicine (TCM) shop. Eggs might be a little blotchy but after you cover them, you can't see them anyways. Our bunga pahar holder has seen it's days so unfortunately, the foam inside has worn off. With the weight of the eggs, the flowers drooped down a little. But no deal, because it looks decent enough.

 

 

 

Henna

[read previous post here]

After the henna tests we had, Mak and I were set on the henna recipe we wanted. Which was henna powder, calamansi juice and a little bit of the tube henna for a touch of redness. But on the day I wanted to buy henna powder at Pasar Geylang, the kakak advised me to use Gambir for natural redness. It was last minute but I bought it anyways because it was cheap.

On Thursday night, Mak helped prepare the henna with gambir in replacement of the tube henna. As expected, the stain was fast and more reddish as Mak got her fingers tainted while mixing.

Our henna ceremony is called inai curi called by the older folks. It's like a secretive henna ceremony because it was held 2 days before the big day and it's just within the family. Jhon's family was around but his mom was tired so I lovingly shooed everyone away to rest. After all, they had went out shopping the whole day. But before they left, Jhon did henna designs on Loi's hands. lol

 

Ada tak bakal pengantin lain buat henna kat orang? Loi always wanted a henna design ever since she saw it during Fizah's wedding years back. The thing is, we didn't engage anyone for henna designs. Since she was willing, Jhon did it lah. I was also surprised Kakak volunteered too. Fizah wanted but she was around on Friday and we were just too busy.

After they went home and had our henna paste set for 3 hours, Mak helped with the henna tainting. We had scotch taped our fingers for better lines and so that Mak won't stress making sure everything is neat. We didn't have our henna on very long. We washed it as soon as it dries which was about 3 hours. I wanted it longer but it was past midnight and we wanted to sleep. But here it is.

 

After the wedding and all, I can relate the feeling of other brides reminiscing their wedding day as there was a constant reminder on their hands.
 

Bunga Rampai

[read previous post here]

I think I was rather detailed about my bunga rampai in my previous post but I just I want to show how it looks like with chiffon pieces and the rampai itself in it.

 

 

Sireh Lat-Lat

I had Mak help me do with this one. We just used a small plastic cup, wrap it with gold crepe tissue paper, decorate it with a brooch & flowers. I totally forgot to take a picture of the end result. But it turns out that Versari Ade provides free sireh lat-lat. kwang kwang... The reason being, they will decorate the cup/ holder to our outfit (same purple cloth on our outfit to the cup) so it will match perfectly. So Kak Dee and Jhon just switch the holder.

In the end, it does not matter because as expected, Jhon's hands are so big that he covers the holder and you can see the flowers only.

 

 

Bunga Manggar

[read previous post here]

The night before our wedding, we did our bunga mangar with Jhon's family. His family has always been the crafty group so I knew they were the perfect family to arrange and poke the bunga manggar onto the styrofoam. They were hesitant to help at first because shy-shy mah but once they understand their duty, fwar.. so fast and I was so happy to see them so into it. After all, I want them to feel that they are a part of the gotong-royong and not left out.

 

We had a good amount of gold crepe tissue paper so we wrapped Mak's bamboo poles to make it more presentable. Where do you think we can get a gold bamboo pole? haha We even cover it with scotch tape for protection. I never thought I would be so happy to see my full and glittery bunga manggar.

 

 

Guestbook

[read previous post here]

I just want to show the set up at my wedding. I didn't rent/ buy an easel to put our big pre-wedding photo shoot photo so instead, I placed it on the table and resting on the wall. Guests can stare at our photo as we stare at each other. lol As expected, the jar was not filled to the maximum but it's okay. At least we can reuse the bottle and box. hehe

 

Tepung Tawar

Technically, there's an appropriate place to put the bertih (popcorn), yellow rice and egg but we only managed to borrow the renjis-renjis part for rose water. If you read my post about Malay traditions, this is like an act of blessing. It was fun for me, at least because we were sprinkled, prayed for and some relative were funny with their antics.

 

 

Directional Signs

[read previous post here]

 

A little boo-boo here, I forgot to take a picture of my wedding directional signs but it's basically my signage tied with gold ribbons to the lamp post. Tu je.

 

And that's it!

 

   

Things You Should Know After Your Wedding

Your entire wedding event is finally over! But the curtains on the stage are not exactly closing yet. Here are the things you and your groom will be facing.

 

❣ Exhaustion
You will underestimate how tired you will be after the wedding. Although with a glance, the bride and groom job’s is just to look good, smile, take photos and engage with everyone. But that is not considering how tiring it is to change clothes, deal with the humid weather just dealing with the entire event although a happy one, can take a lot of energy.

❣ Hunger
Whenever caught in a moment, it’s easy to forget about food or even if you are hungry, you barely have time to really eat and enjoy your food. As soon as you change your clothes and take a little break, get ready for those hunger pangs. Let’s just hope there are enough food leftovers to truly enjoy.

❣ Make-up Removal
Brides, at the end of the day and it’s time to remove all that beautiful make-up, be prepared to use quite a number of make-up removal wipes depending on the brand you use. I use Biore Make up wipes (not sponsored ah, lol) and managed to use only 3 to clean my heavily thick made up face. Even after removal with the wipes, make sure you wash with a cleanser, use a toner and moisturize. Your skin on your face has been worked on hard so make sure you take extra care of it.

 

❣ Hair Washing
Ladies, be prepared to wash and condition that hair several times to remove all that gunk from the hairspray. It takes plenty of work to make that hair perfect and plenty of work to clean it too. Of course, this varies on each bridal. Some may spray like nobody's business while other use as when needed like Versari Ade. Lucky for me, 1 round of hair washing was enough.

❣ Complains & Rants
When you are on the pelamin, all you mostly see are the happy times and rarely the behind the scenes. After the event and as you settle down with your family and relatives, you may start to hear certain drama that might happen throughout the day. Take it with a pinch of salt. No wedding is perfect, there would be hiccups or drama here and there. The important thing is that you had a good time and it’s over.

❣ The Clean Up
This mostly applies to void deck weddings or at home solemnizations. Just because you are the bride and groom, that does not mean you are free from clean up duties after the wedding. Your room would be a mess, wedding gifts to be cleared up and food/ berkat leftovers from the wedding to be kept. At this point, it's always great to have family and/or friends to help to lighten the load.

❣ Plenty of Chit-Chat & Reminiscing
During clean up and/or during resting and sometimes even the next day, there will be plenty of reminiscing of your big day. With so many eyes and ears, it's nice to listen from other people's perspective of your wedding. If everything went well, it's all giggles and laughter if it doesn't, it's okay. Acknowledge, forgive and move on. All that matters was that you are married and cherish the positive and wonderful memories.

❣ It's Not Really Over
You would think after your wedding, there's nothing much to do but just relax, prepare for your honeymoon and marital bliss. NOPE. If you rent any items like hantaran trays, easel or anything else, you have to return them as soon as possible. If you didn't manage to do a proper clean up the night before, you have to continue cleaning.

Even after your honeymoon, you might have extra errands such as if you are an international couple, you have to register your marriage at the appropriate embassy. Sometimes, some families expect the newly married couple to visit immediate families or have a gathering as a formal thank you.

So basically, just be prepared for more life adventures in your new chapter of life. The roller coaster ride is just starting. 


   

Our Wedding Itinerary

Wedding itineraries are important nowadays since Malay weddings are not as standardized like the past. Every wedding is different in terms of number of guests, location, duration, types & number of cultural practices and more.

Having an itinerary, whether basic or detailed, helps inform everyone with the coming and goings of your wedding. This is to avoid confusion, delay and also with plenty of people aware of your schedule, the more efficient your wedding will be. With that said, so many things can happen at the same time and anything can happen so please know that it's okay if you stray a little from the itinerary. Use it as a guide and don't panic if everything does not falls into place to the minute.

The people who would benefit your wedding itinerary are the photographers, videographers and mak andam so they know what should happen next in terms of timings and event cues. Giving your DJ a copy too is helpful so they can announce to the guests your entrance, timing for an outfit change and more with confidence.

Before I share my itinerary, please note that it is based on/ for:

❣ Basic guideline
❣ 500 pax guests
❣ 1 day wedding
❣ Combined Wedding
❣ Has Malay traditional aspects
❣ No Bertandang (no visiting other venues)
❣ Has berarak/ hadang with live kompang
❣ No photography/ videography shoot after event

First is the contact list. This is for everyone but mostly for the family. Just in case there is a need to call for a certain vendor, they don't have to ask the bride and groom for numbers and such. I also gave the list to the DJ just in case they need to make an announcement or want to make an intro of our vendors. I didn't expect the latter but I will explain more when I review our DJ.

Next, is the itinerary itself which I divided into 2 parts for easy reference. Note again that my itinerary is basic because I personally think it's not necessary to be so detailed. But to each it's own, ya? I also have a copy of a detailed one from another BTB if you want but this is mine.

Alhamdulillah, We managed to follow the itinerary as close as possible with 15+/- minutes difference. In fact, throughout, we had a few minutes of 'open' time when we were not taking pictures with anyone. We were just sitting on our pelamin, enjoying the moment, listening to music, looking at the guests enjoying their food and chit chatting. We even managed to go up to end the event right on time if not a few minutes earlier. Mostly thanks to our DJ who had followed our itinerary closely and constantly made announcements of our event cues.

What I find helpful too is to give a family list of names to the DJ so they can call out your family members just in case they are in need for photo taking or simply and introduction to everyone. Basically, the DJ can not only recognize your family but also know how to address them.

Optional is also give relative's family names to DJ for photography sessions and to have things in order. We didn't have that though because who are ready & have assembled to take photos, take photos lah. No need to waste time call this mak cik, that cousin to assemble.


   

Things you should know 1 day before the wedding

Your big day is in just about 24 hours. You and your family is probably busy bustling about, checking the décor, caterer and all the nitty-gritty needed for the wedding.

Here's what you need to take note.

❣ Breathe & Keep Calm
You may be overwhelmed because everyone is asking you where, what, who, when and how. You need to check this, do that, find this and know that. If you find when you are feeling flustered, stop, take a deep breath and recollect. It's corny but it works.

❣ Final Checks
If it helps, get a check list but this is the only time you do your last minute errands for any forgotten items. Have another set of eyes and brains to make sure everything is in order.

❣ Expect Anything to Happen
You can plan everything to the T but you really can't control what will happen, whether it's a normal day or a big day. It is because of fate and destiny determined by God. It may be something small like bad weather or chaotic relatives or vendor mishaps. Just be your toes and be prepare for anything.

❣ Redha
Let's say but let's hope not, something bad does happens, accept it. Everything happens for a reason. Someone can make a big deal out of nothing which will complicate a situation, vendor problems or anything else. It's going to be emotional and frustrating but by the end of the day. Accept it.

❣ Let it Go
After accepting the situation, let it go. Elsa from Frozen couldn't say/ sing it any better. Solve the problem and move on. Don't hold grudges too.

❣ Enjoy
Amidst of all the duties and items you need to take note of, it's hard to stop and smell the roses. Everyone was asking how I was feeling days leading to my big day but all I could answer was that I was too busy to feel anything! Just remember to take those moments to enjoy and have fun while at it.

❣ Appreciate
I could not stress this any more. With all the planning and hard work, it's easier to see the big picture and not the little things. Naturally, we tend to focus more on negative things or actions. Such thoughts and feelings can bring us down. Always think positive, focus on them and appreciate them.

❣ Proper Sleep
No doubt, perhaps months before the wedding, couples are already swamped with errands and such. That's what I experienced since we had to handled our wedding 98% by ourselves. Sleep and rest? What is that? No matter what, try to do whatever you can earlier so you have lesser things to do 24 hours before the wedding. Get your rest!

❣ Eat 
Sometimes, when you are too busy or excited, you may lose your appetite but you got to force yourself to have at least a mouthful of food. You need your energy because it's going to be a tiring day. We don't want a weak or even worst, fainting groom or bride.

 ❣ Stay Hydrated

Dehydration can also cause tiredness. So drink up! And yes, corset wearing brides, it will be leceh to take off your girdle to pee but health comes first!

❣ Itinerary is just a Skeleton
There are 3 types of couples. One who disregard an itinerary and wing it, one who had a rough itinerary and one that has a super detailed itinerary. No matter what, an itinerary is just a rough guide on what is happening on your big day. Every wedding varies and it's most helpful for vendors, especially the DJ, Mak Andam, videographer and photographer. With that said, refer to my 3rd point about anything can happen. Time may stray. As long is 30 +/- minutes, it's okay, do not panic.

❣ Crowd
Depending how you invite your guests, do you invite anyone and everyone or do you invite the significant people in your life? Sometimes, a small wedding does not mean lesser guests and a large wedding, more guests. Also take note of peak periods during your wedding. All I can say is don't worry if your ceremony seems 'empty'. All that matters are that the important people are present.

❣ Take in the moment

For our case, our wedding was catered for 500 guests and since we were having a combined wedding, we spent most of our time in one location. There's no time of travelling to another location. After everyone had taken photos, we had a few moments of just us sitting by ourselves at the pelamin. We appreciate that moment A LOT. We got to absorb the atmosphere, enjoy the music and truly enjoy ourselves.

 

   

Bridal Rooms

To be honest, bridal rooms are not a thing in the past. Even if there is, it's just making the room proper with new curtains, new bedroom furniture (if needed), new painted walls (if needed), pretty bedspread and some flowers to decorate.

The point of a bridal room is just a place where the bride and make up artist locked up in the room for 2 hours for make up and a place where the bride stays in before and during the solemnization ceremony. The room serves as a holding area for the bride, wedding gifts and photo taking area; at least during the solemnization period.

Now, bridal rooms can be decorated into a masterpiece such as these rooms done by Our Midas Touch.

 

Depending on your preference, budget and vendor, the decoration can be ceiling to floor, wall to wall coverage. There will be chandelier lights, flowing curtains, pretty bed sheets, side lamps and many more. No doubt it's grand and beautiful but I have a thing for natural lighting and fresh air but mostly, I deem is as a luxury. It's not a must and after the thousands we are spending, we are not willing to fork out a minimum of S$600. To each its own ya? Of course if I have more than enough cash, why not right?

So basically, I don't have a bridal room. Plus, our solemnization will be held downstairs, not in my house so it's not really an issue. My room would be literally a getting ready room. Of course, I am going to make the room decent and clean but making no effort in decorating it. hehe

I forgot to take a picture of my room but there's nothing really to show. We just had a new bed, new bed sheets, put up nice curtains with newly painted room and dah.