Things you should know before planning a wedding

Now that wedding planning has come to an end, I figured I would share some information I deem helpful for all newly BTB/GTB before embarking their own wedding planning.

[lol at shutterstock picture]

❣ Figure out your timeline
As a rule of thumb, it’s ideal to start booking at LEAST 1 year before your wedding. For those hot vendors, there are couples who had booked 2 years before. Call it kiasu or call it kanciong, but that’s how it is. If a vendor attracts plenty of customers, expect plenty of competition for slots, more ever on ‘special’ dates or peak periods.

Research, research, research.
It’s always good to have more than a year before your wedding date to research wedding vendors as much as possible. Trust me, this will help a lot. You will not only find vendors you may like but the general market rate. Ask around, check out Facebook, Google it, read blogs and visit the CozyCot wedding forum. By having a good knowledge under your belt, it’s easier to make confident decisions.

Discuss, discuss, discuss.
It IS your wedding but you are the product of your parent’s loins so yes, they do have a say with your wedding. They have every right to advice and share their opinions. Yes, some parents are very opinionated and stubborn so sometimes, you have to compromise. In fact, everyone should compromise. Do not let emotions hold the steering wheel when making a decision or discussing.

Plan your budget.
This goes without saying if you want to avoid a terrible surprise by the end of the final deposit. This may take a little more time and effort but it’s worth it. Write a table of all the things you need for your wedding, make an estimate budget amount and then actual amount. Most importantly, follow it closely! You may write it down or type it down as long as you do it!

Don’t dilly-dally
After researching and if it hits everything you want in your checklist of preference, cost and important people’s support, BOOK IT! I could not stress enough the importance of this especially when you are aiming for a popular/ top notch vendor or your wedding is during the peak periods. If you know what you want, book it ASAP.

 ❣ Promotions galore!
If you have your eyes on a particular vendor, follow them in all forms of social media platforms. Plenty of vendors will have their special promos to keep a look out for. Keeping up to date to Expo’s wedding exhibitions also help. Top wedding vendors usually showcase every January of every year while others do a few times a year.

Too good to be true?
Sure, when you come across a good package, you can’t wait to sign and deposit. Do a quick background check of the vendor, read reviews, check out every package and everything they offer and most importantly, ask as many questions as you can. Some great deals comes from plenty of crossing of items on the list. This is just to make sure there will be no bad surprises along the way.

Read the fine print.
Whether it’s an simple package or a luxurious one, always read the fine print. Bridal example, when you do a customised outfit, do you get to keep it? Are fake eyelashes are at an additional cost? Catering example, is clean up service included? Photography example, how many photos will be given?

Religion vs Culture
This is inevitable, there will be clashes of religion and culture especially religion aims for simplicity while culture craves for a bigger expenditure. The safest bet is always the middle ground but it still boils down to both families.

Traditional vs Modern
Another, inevitable situation. Parents can be adamant (understandably so) on upholding our Malay culture. They might be persistent as much as the younger couples persistent on wanting their modern wedding. The key is to compromise so both is happy!

Details
When planning, we tend to focus on catering, bridal, décor, wedding gifts and photographer because they are among the main components of a wedding. Don’t forget the smaller things like ‘bunga rampai’, corsets, shoes and such. Yes, an estimated average Malay wedding is about SG$20K-SG$35 but don’t forget the miscellaneous such as costs for your wedding gift exchange, honeymoon, etc.

Need vs Want
Sure, during researching and planning, it’s easy to be floating in the clouds; wanting the dream wedding worth a Pinterest post. If it’s doable because it’s DIY, then it’s all good but if it’s something that requires you to burst your budget, it’s time to rethink that plan. Remember the rule of thumb, if you can’t afford it, don’t spend it.

Plan A, Plan B, Plan C
Some may call it being negative, but I call it realistic. Just in case, things don’t work your way, always have a fall back plan. It’s to make sure you and your partner always prepared for anything. Granted, there are things you can’t control like weather or just unforeseen circumstances but to be mentally prepared for anything is always a good thing.

Faith
You can plan everything to the T but sometimes it just didn’t work out how you think it would. It’s even more frustrating when it’s over a simple thing and it’s unnecessarily blown up. Believe in the higher being and everything happens for a reason. Redha for anything, good or bad.

❣ Relationship Challenges
There are couples who will face many challenges throughout the wedding planning. Whether it’s clash of each other/family’s opinions or misunderstandings, you will surprised it could break or make the relationship. People would say it is the ‘ultimate test’ before embarking to marriage hood.

Choose your Battles
Everyone has their own opinions; from the partners themselves to their parents to grandparents to relatives. Depending on each family, the straight forward and dominant ones can be very testing. It’s almost everything has to go their way and it will be tiring to fight for everything little thing. By choosing your battles, you can ease down the stress a little. For example, do you think it’s worth it to fight over wedding cards or berkat?

Facials and Haircuts
If you intend to do any facials and haircuts for your wedding day, rule of the thumb is, if you want to try a new facial or hair cut/color, do it min. 6 months before the wedding. This is to make sure you have time to recover if there are some issues that may occur like skin irritation or the hair cut/color didn’t suit you after all. If you go to regular facials, (correct me if I’m wrong) you can go 1 week before your wedding. As for haircuts, you may visit your favourite hair salon 1-2 weeks before your wedding.

Itinerary
It was never a must to have a wedding itinerary in the past. Everyone more or less knows the flow and every part of the wedding has it's standard protocol. But with combined weddings, additional wedding segments and such, an itinerary is helpful. There is no need for a detailed itinerary unless you prefer one. Just a simple one so that people have a rough idea of the incoming and goings of your wedding. Usually, the people who need this is family, DJ, videographer, photographer and the mak andam.

Informative Information
On the final appointment with your vendors or latest, before the wedding officially starts, inform your mak andam, photographer, videographer and DJ if you have any family relationship issues. For example, if your separated parents don't want to sit with each other or that your parents are divorced and has married another. These vital information gives a heads up to avoid confusion and drama. Help the vendors to ensure your wedding goes smoothly

Using these pointers as a guide, InsyaAllah, it will help you with your wedding planning.

Fellow brides and grooms, if I missed something, please share!


   

Busy Getting Married

As you are reading this, Jhon and I are either busy getting ready, getting married or wrapping up the wedding.

Which means this blog may not be updated for a while. I may try to squeeze in 1 or 2 here and there but no promises I would be active as before. But don't worry, I have LOADS to share.

Meantime, I belanja you one photo.
This photo is one of many from our official pre-wedding photo shoot.

 
It's weird to see myself with so much make up but the longer I look at it, the more I like it.
[I told you I look more mualaf than Jhon lol]
 
I hope and pray everything will go smoothly and I whatever happens, I redha.



  

The Big Family Dinner

Jhon's parents, sis and nephew flew in Singapore 3 days before the wedding. I personally, have met and bonded with Jhon's family when I visited Philippines but my family have not. They are friends in Facebook but never officially met.

That's why I figured it would be awesome if everyone could meet up for a big dinner on the day they arrive formalities and giving them a big welcome.



Alhamdulilah, everyone had a great time. Everyone was awkward at first but the kids were wonderful ice breakers. After a while, everyone was relaxed and laughing.

 
We finally get to meet the popular boy, Jayden!


 

 
I is happy!
 
 

    

Bicycle Obstructions

  Every block has their bicycle racks under the block. All these while, the amount of bikes parked under my block was not that bad until for the past few months. As weeks passed, it grew more and more! I am not exaggerating eh? It's like 3 bikes to 1 rack and 2-3 that loiters nearby.

Our décor people suggested us to make a sign for owners to temporary remove the bikes since we will be having our wedding ceremony there but that week we wanted to post up, town council themselves had post up a sign. Cun ah!

 
Some bikes even had a special note on them too stating that they have 1 week or the town council will remove the bikes themselves.
 
1 day passed eventually, 7 days and nothing happened. So we decided to also put our post lah, at least, there's a timeline. 
 
 
Then just a few days before our big day, I saw this.
 

Alhamduliah! It's obvious it's the works of the town council. What a wonderful coincidence. We felt so relieved! At least that area won't look such an eye sore. I just hope during the wedding, the owners won't suddenly scold us and ask us what did we do to their bikes. haha


 

Wedding DIY: Guestbook

So, our guestbook is not really a guestbook. It's more of a time capsule of notes/wishes/drawings and whatever of our wedding day. 1 year after our wedding day, we will open, read and reminisce.

As much as a standard guestbook will suffice, I was thinking of long term storage. I figured I could reuse the box to store trinkets, move the paper notes in a zip lock bag and use the mason jar for other type of storage.




Ribbons were from Sis's wedding, jar from some random household store, frame is from spotlight and wooden box and planks, hinges from Daiso.

Okay tak? Okay lah... Not a major criteria. hehe

   

Wedding DIY: Kid's Berkat

For the kid's berkat, we did the classic treats in a bag. We bought treat bags from Daiso, used twisty ties from my Sis's wedding years ago (happen to be gold & silver!), bought a toy, balloons and of course, sweets and chocolates for 100 pax.

We saw toys and balloons at a nearby small business stationary shop that also sells party stuff. In the end, we bought gold & silver balloons. I would've bought the maze thingy if it was not Christmas themed.


We got similar (but more colourful) spinners when we played and redeemed at the arcade, TimeZone City Square. As for the candy and such, we bought them at Value Dollar. We went all out in terms of types of candy. There are jellies, lollipops, chewy candy and chocolate Smarties.


Our baggies are not really packed to the max though but all I can say that it has variety and the items are small. Anyways, who cares? Kid's don't really care. hehe


 

Wedding Review: Berkat (Chia Heng Dept. Store)

Read the day we surveyed and booked our berkat here.

It actually slipped my mind that our wedding favors should be delivered exactly 1 month before our wedding but that was not the problem. The problem was that no one had call us at least 1 day before hand to confirm the time of arrival.

On the 23rd, I had 2 missed calls at 3:15pm and a SMS about a delivery. I called back and it turned out to be the delivery guy. He sounded like a typical angsty uncle and told me that he can't deliver anymore because I didn't answer. =(

In my defense, my handphone was in my room while I was in the living room tending to my nephew AND I was just 15 minutes late. The problem was, how come I didn't get a heads up on the delivery time? It's like the opportunity was there and then. They had to push the delivery date to the next day and even then they can't confirm a time for us.

The next day, they called 1 hour in advance so at least I was prepared. So take note, just be prepared on the date you had informed them to deliver.

Despite of the kecoh, we were happy with the delivery and items.

 
This maybe does not really matter but I really appreciate that the strings have these at the ends. It's better than a knot because it's more secure.
 
 
The berkat comes with a box carrier so we don't have to buy bags whatsoever. Unfortunately although not suprisingly, the bowls were dirty so we had to wash them to make them look new, shiny and presentable. While washing, we broke 1 and chipped 1. hur hur

 
The design I initially chose was a design without the legs but Mak wanted this design. Since she willing to pay the difference, okay lor! Actually, I am secretly very happy with this design. #makcik
 

   

Versari Ade Final Fitting

Firstly, Versari Ade's office has moved. They are still within Kaki Bukit area (9 Kaki Bukit Place) and EVEN NEARER to my place. Previously, it would be a 20 minute walk, now it's 10 minutes lah. hehe What I like about the new place is that it's definitely more accessible and safe. The only tiny bit leceh as a guest is that you have to call the office so they can bring in the lift for you to take.


We had already chose our wedding outfits about 5 months back while we were choosing our outfits for our photo shoot. You know, kill 7 baju birds with one stone. Click to read about how that day went. Note that usually outfit choosing is 3 months before the wedding.

Refresher:
 For our wedding day, we will be wearing,
❣ Off White/ Silver Malay Modern Outfit
❣ Purple Modern Songket

❣ Cream Western lace dress with Jhon's own Barong

Since it's just a fitting, it's quite a fast appointment. We just needed to try and the team would pin the necessary areas to fit. I tell you, the difference when we were trying out clothes and liking it to having the clothes fit us perfectly is a huge one!

Especially when I had the veil on while I was trying my nikah outfit. Yeah, Jhon and I can't stop smiling. Jhon even made a joke saying "let's go, let's get married". Tak sabar nampak. haha

Anyways, we finalized our bill, paid our final deposit and talked about what will happen on the wedding day.


 

Appointment with Nurie Creations

Click here to read about our first appointment with Nurie Creations.

Technically, Jhon and I supposed to meet up 1 month before the wedding with Cik Normie for the 2nd deposit but the day she wanted to meet was the weekend my cousin was getting married! She was so nice to want us to meet up at a wedding she is catering that is near to our place. But we had already told her, no choice and we don't mind traveling further just to meet and pay her. (nanti tak ada duit untuk barang dapur pulak hehe)

1 week before the wedding, Jhon and I went all the way to Yishun to meet her. I tell you, she and her husband is forever friendly and nice. They will always welcome us with open arms. They always serve us some kueh and always want to tapau food. EVERY SINGLE TIME. But that day we didn't take because it was an errand day and we will be out the whole day.

We discussed about table & chairs, set up day and we added more food to the menu such as black pepper prawns, sweet & sour fish and goreng pisang/ keledek & jemput2. Even with these additional, our grand total is still below $8k. Best!


What I also like that when I asked how much is the 2nd deposit (on paper is 50% of remaining but I want to double confirm), she said, any amount because she understand it's a crucial time and she understand couples need to pay plenty of stuff. How can a vendor so nice, flexible and trusting? Of course I paid the 50% lah because dah ready pun.

So remember that rule of the thumb of majority of vendors, especially the big expenses (bridal, caterer, photography, videography etc), there will be 3 deposits. 1st to book, 2nd before wedding and 3rd after wedding ceremony. No such thing as 2 deposits for these vendors okay?

 

Hantaran: What to Give?

Exchanging of wedding gifts between Malay couples is generally easy because it's mostly from experience as we grow up. Since a good amount of my readers are as international as my partner, I figured I would give a low down of hantaran. At least I try the best I can, okay?

Hantaran comes from the word hantar which means to send. There's really no special meaning on the concept of it besides it's a gift exchange. Over the years, types of gifts changes especially when everything is becoming more modern.


Here are the types:

📖 The Islamic Way

According to Islam, the only gift is from the groom to the bride which is the mahar. It symbolizes the beginning of a husband's responsibility towards his wife in fulfilling her everyday needs. It can be in cash (minimum S$100 according to ROMM) or some form of jewelry. In the past, Prophet Muhammad PBUH has even married off a man whose mahar is a verse from the Quran.

It is well known in Islam that getting married is never intended to be an inconvenience.

🎆 The Malay Traditional Way

You may hear facts about the groom has to give an extra tray (or more) to the bride. But from my Mom's experience from the kampung, it's actually purely depending of the situations. The groom may plan to give 8 but the relatives usually volunteer to add more trays (with fruits or chocolates) and 5 might turn into 11.

The amount of the trays exchanged between bride and groom is an average of 8 trays. It usually consists of

Rings: No specific market value but men are discouraged from wearing gold rings

Dowry: Groom to Bride - Cash amount to be predetermined by parents and that money is to help pay the wedding ceremony on the bride's side.

Mahar: Groom to bride - can be S$100 or form of jewelry. It can be the wedding ring too.

Sireh dara/ Junjung: To signify virginity of the couple

Bunga Rampai: 30 pieces - No meaning but to make the atmosphere aromatic.

Religious Items: Quran, Prayer Mat and or Telekung

Traditional clothes/ cloth to be tailored into one: This is to be worn on the couple's first Hari Raya as a husband and wife

Shoes/ Capal: Shoes that will be worn on the wedding ceremony

Misc. (any or all of these) : Fruit Baskets, Cake, Chocolates, Watch, Perfume set, etc.

💝 The Modern Way

There are no concrete amount of trays that needed to be exchanged but on average, trays exchanged can go up to 10 or even 12. In the modern age, the groom exchange the exact same amount with the bride. The items are more or less like the Malay Traditional way but with a more personal taste.

Rings: No specific market value but men are discouraged from wearing gold rings

Dowry: Groom to Bride -  Cash or cheque amount to be predetermined by parents or the couple themselves and that money is to help pay the wedding ceremony if the parents had helped. If not, it can be saved for future purposes.

Mahar: Groom to bride - can be S$100 or form of jewelry. It can be the wedding ring too.

Sireh dara/ Junjung: To signify virginity of the couple but now it tend to serve as a Malay wedding decor as meaning is forgotten.

Bunga Rampai: 20-30 pieces - No meaning but to make the atmosphere aromatic.

Religious Items: Quran, Prayer Mat and or Telekung

Clothes: Any shirt for groom and cloth to be tailored for bride.

Shoes: Shoes that will be worn on the wedding ceremony or shoes for daily wear such as sports shoes or boots.

Personal Choice: Items the individual couple likes such as a camera, helmet, sunglasses, gaming console, handbag, make up, etc.

Misc. (any or all of these) : Fruit Baskets, Cake, Chocolates, Perfume set, etc.

As you can see, as time passes, the more items and more personalized it gets. To be honest, there's no black and white guide to what to give except for the rings, dowry, mahar, sireh dara/junjung. bunga rampai and religious items. You may have an option to add items depending on your preference and yes, this too should be discussed between the old folks. Some Malay parents prefer a minimum amount of trays exchange while others don't mind.

Most importantly, please be logical and realistic. Spend only if you can afford. Never mind what others say because by the end of the day, they are not the ones paying the bills. For my wedding, we are only exchanging 4 trays. Follow traditions, do what is proper and do you.

   

1 more week!

Can you believe it? After all the posts I had written on #weddingtalk, Jhon and I are at the 1 week mark countdown to our wedding.

The current feeling is mostly indifferent because we have been too busy with the wedding preparations and cleaning/ painting rooms. Even when we had a breather, we were thinking what are the things we should do next and checking our fiances.

At this point, our rooms are 95% ready, Jhon's family already got their passports, we had already had almost all our final appointments/ discussions with our vendors. My living room is stacked with berkat and wedding stuff. Which reminds me, I've not blogged about my berkat yet.


Unfortunately, 2 days ago, we had received bad news of Jhon's grandfather passing away. He was old and sickly so it's already his time and place. With that said, nobody is ready or wants to say goodbye forever to a family member.

My wedding talk series has almost come to an end especially after I do a review of all my vendors. Any readers want me to touch base on anything that I might have left out?

All I know is, I hope everything will go smoothly and whatever happens, I know it's for a reason. What is important is us enjoying every moment of it.

   

Malay BridesMaids & Her Duties

You think since this is a practice this generation love to partake in, you would think they would know the actual roles that comes with it. Unfortunately, I've seen enough weddings to see clueless bridesmaids loitering around or 'tangkap jambu' (act as if they are the highlight of the event).

I may be old and not going to have bride's maids in my wedding but I am not so out of touch okay? But let me tell you, what you ladies can do and be actually helpful which in turn, makes the bride extra happy.

For the Bride

Please choose your bridesmaids wisely. These ladies should be one of your pillar of strength, who will support, advice and help you. Preferably, your best friend or your closest friends, not just any one who to meet your quota or to only mindless follow you because it looks nice.

For the Bridesmaids

If you are a chosen bridesmaid, please don't complain. It is an honor that you are appointed and trusted to be a integral part of the couple's life. But that note, as much as they can tell you what to do, that does not mean they can boss you around. Voice out your opinion as you have your right too since you are the bridesmaid.

Pre-Wedding

Help with Making Decisions
Planning a wedding can be overwhelming especially if the bride is fickle-minded. In some situations, brides needs an extra eye and mind in decision making. Remember it's HER wedding so your opinion should base on HER suitability.

Help Deal with the Wedding Stress
The bride will rant, she will cry and she will be angry. Be hear listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and give her your best support and advice.

Organize a Hen Party
Not compulsory but it will help the bride to relax. Book a room, decorate it, play games, do pedi-mani, face masks and such. Note that if you are going to organize this, it all should come from your own pocket money.

Run Last Minute Errands
Sometimes, a few days before a wedding, there might be some forgotten or depleting items like ribbons or flowers. You MAY need to zoom to the nearest shop to get it.

Bride's Maid Outfits
Unless the bride offers to buy for your outfit, buy one yourself. Just make sure it fits the bride's criteria in terms of color and style.


On the Wedding Day

Be Early
You are greatly encouraged to be at the wedding as early as possible because you never know when the bride might need your help. When there are so many things happening at the same time, the bride will feel overwhelmed. You need to be there for her STAT.

Help Deal with Vendors 
Some vendors' jobs is to set up and leave and the bride or groom can't be there to inspect and pay. You may have to liaise with them and help pay their deposits on behalf of the couple.

❣ Wait on the Bride Hands and Feet
It does not sound as bad it seems. Just make sure the bride had her meal of the day, that she is calm, that she is hydrated throughout the day or see if she needs anything. If the Mak Andam is there the whole day, let her handle her job such as make up, dressing up and dealing with the proper cultural procedures needed.

Follow the Bride Around 
Follow like ducklings follows it's mother. To give support, makes her smile/ laugh (if her smile is starting to look stiff) or to be there if she needs something (call a family member or a drink of water).

This includes the bride and groom's entrance. If there was no plan for you to lead like the western culture, follow the bride and groom from behind. This is mostly for the 2nd entrance with the evening wear.

Be the Side Hostess
Naturally, the parents of the bride or aunties will help with the major hosting of the guests. But you can help to with guiding some guests to the parents, encourage them to eat, participate in the photo booth or sign the guestbook. Perhaps you need to help gather families for photo taking too.

Taking your Break
With so many things to do, when is your break time? If there are many bridesmaids, take shifts or you can eat while the bride is changing, eating with her husband or while photo taking. Make sure you inform the bride so she knows where you are.


After the Wedding Event

Taking Care of the Bride
Make sure she gets what she needs to rest. Food, drinks, wet wipes and such. If she requires you to get something and you can help, help.

Cleaning Up
You don't have to help spring clean until it sparkles. Just help clean up any mess like litter or items that are disorganized to lighten the bride's burden.

Leave When You are Not Needed
Before you end the day and get your own rest, make sure the bride and family has everything under control. Do not leave as you wish without knowing everyone has more or less settled down and no longer need any additional help.

These are just the main basic duties of a bridesmaid and if you follow these guidelines, not only the bride but also the groom and her family will be grateful for being there emotionally and physically.

"But zzanyy, you said you are not going to have any bridesmaids, who is doing all those stuff for you?"

Anyone and everyone who is available and willing to help, family, relatives and my best buddy, Fizah. In the old times, these people are called 'orang kuat' who are going be your pillar of strength. Fizah obviously is mostly going to support me emotionally. haha

But there it is, if you read this post, pass it along. Don't have bridesmaids for the sake of only making a photo or atmosphere livelier. They have actual duties to give the bride support so make sure they do it!

   

Wedding DIY: Our Directional Signs

There are many ways to do up a directional sign to your wedding. You may click here to read about types of signs I liked but as mentioned there, I decided to have a simple sign because I choose not to crack my own brain to make sure every detail meticulous to make my life easier.

We made 3 signs because there are 3 locations that ought to be placed.

We bought stationary paper at Popular and print out the details with what we deemed with nice font. We laminated it for protection at Bedok and will punch holes so we can hang it up with cable ties.

Ta Da! Fast-fast, chop chop.



Now let's move on.

   

32


I used to care about birthdays and I used to be upset when the important people in the my life forget them. I am glad to say that I've grown from that. Instead of expecting people making a fuss, big or small over the day I was birthed or that my existence was appreciated, I took it as a day of extreme self-reflection.

But this year, I barely have time to do that because in just 11 days, I am getting married. I am actually too swamped with wedding related stuff that a resting moment is greatly appreciated. It's tough when you have to do everything yourself but I know, it's the way of the Great One of telling me I can and it's something I can be proud of after all is done and even in years to come.

I know it's just a stepping stone of what is to come as the dust settles.


At 32, I am still happy that as I try to be wiser and grounded, I don't allow the silly, cartoon loving me dies. I am starting a family real soon where I will be the second in command in a household.

32 is just not just a number, it is not a reminder how old I am. It's a reminder of how far I've come.

Happy Birthday to Me.

   

My Tweety

Sorry not sorry for the temporary hiatus. For 10 straight days, I was doing nothing but spring cleaning, sorting, arranging, painting and more. I finally have a breather so I can start writing and perhaps start my scheduled posts.

On 14th March 2016, 11 am, while walking towards Jhon's place, I saw a baby bird. I only found out a day later that it was a fledging because it already has its feathers.


I called Jhon up to come over to move it on a grassy patch or a safe place because I am a little icky handling tiny birds. I was waiting patiently until I saw a small swarm of giant red ants underneath and I panicked. The ants were biting and the area was cat infested. I wasn't sure if I should bring the bird home until Mak gave a green light through the phone.


I have no experience in taking care of birds but Mak said, the bird would be probably be dead outside either way from the ants and cats. Even if we were unsuccessful, at least we tried.

We went to my place to keep safe and we continued to our initial plan which was to eat near Jhon's place. Who would've thought on the way back home, I found another fledging! This one clearly older than the first one. We took it too to the first one at my place.


I didn't want to name them. I didn't have intentions to keep them. I want to nurse them and let them fly away on their own as nature intended.

I love to see the both of them nestling up on each other in my make shift cage made up from a box and basket. 2 days later, the older bird flew away while the younger one stayed.

Days passed and the bird was shedding it's baby feathers and grew pretty yellow ones. I finally learned that it's a female pink-necked green pigeon that loves fruits. We fed her cranberries, watermelon, rock melon and her favorite was papaya.


It was difficult at first, I was still scared to touch her but I was lucky Mak wasn't so she would hold her beak to encourage her to open her beak and I would feed her with a chopstick. She grew to be a happy bird. She recognized the chopstick as a mom's beak but mostly, she actually recognized me. If I was nearby, she would try to walk towards me. I can't even speak without her chirping at me. She would tweet non-stop and even wag her little tail up and down. I knew she was growing well and was happy. I eventually named her Tweety.

She wanted to be with me so much that there was one time she attempted to fly towards me but I covered her with a cloth to stop her. I felt bad so I learned to train myself to not be so icky with her. I pet her, touched her and eventually let her sit on my hand with a cloth. I knew I was hooked and it was a dangerous territory because I want her to be free.


2 weeks later, Jhon and I noticed that she was not closing her beak properly. We found out the inside of her beak was swollen. We didn't think much of it because perhaps she accidentally hurt herself while feeding. She did get over excited when she ate papaya and rammed her beak onto the chopstick.

Even with that, she managed to learn to eat all by herself. We were proud. Days passed and Tweety didn't tweet or chirp as much as usual. I knew something was wrong. She looked like she had difficulty breathing, didn't poop the whole day and had teary eyed on the right eye.

[Sun bathing her]

I knew she wouldn't last. I was ready.

By night time, I found her lying down sideways, dead. I wasn't ready after all. I told myself not be attached to her but it turned out she already had touched my heart in ways I didn't expect. Almost embarrassingly, I cried.

My brain knows I am being silly. It's just a random wild pigeon I tried to save and only had it for 2.5 weeks but my heart knows the attachment. I fed, took care, played with this bird every day and she had recognized me as its mom. I can actually tell her where to go and she would followed. I could let her out in the open and she wouldn't fly away, she wouldn't even try.

I feel like this situation sounds dramatic than it should but I don't think I really care. Tweety really deserves a spot on my online journal. I appreciate her presence in my life even if it's for a while.



   

2nd Appointment with Wed'Inc Petals

Read our first appointment with Wed'inc Petals here.

This time around, I brought Mak and Kakak along with us to meet with Kak Andriana. I roughly knew what I want with the decor and placement but I knew this is one of those things my mom will be rather opinionated. I will just let her take the reins.

I was happy that the final arrangement is roughly what I wanted; to have the guests table and buffet table separated. No doubt the appointment would be better if the caterer and decor can meet so they can discuss alongside with each other. Unfortunately, that didn't happen for us.

I misplaced my yellow notebook which have my scribbles of wedding notes and I can't answer Kak Andriana efficiently. hmph

Other than that, we discussed about the arrangement and positions and such. Apparently, we have to book 1 more day for their set up. I forgot it's ideal to have the day before our wedding all set up even though it's a one day wedding. kwang kwang.

We also talked about the arrangement with the solemnization and such and we paid our second deposit. The third and final one after the wedding, during the tear down.

Some of you may not know but Jhon and I are feral cat feeders and it was so funny, one of the cats that we fed saw us (she hangs out at a different block) came over to say hi. She even followed us to and fro the block as we discussed about the wedding as if she was part of the group. Too cute! It would be nice if we can have a wedding picture taken with her or any of the cats. hehehe Kena maki dengan mak andam dan caterer because of the bulu tak? haha

   

Wedding DIY: Bunga Manggar

Bunga manggar serves as a decoration as when the groom arrives and head to the bride. You may find more in my post, 28 Malay Wedding Traditions You May Know or Not (with explanations).

Mak, Jhon and I were roaming around Geylang for some errands and we happened to be at Joo Chiat. Long story short, we found and saw bunga manggar at S$3.90 and Styrofoam at S$2.50. Since we saw it and they happen to have the colours that fit our theme, we bought them lah. End of story.

Technically, 1 packet of 1 color should suffice but I love my bunga manggar to be full so I bought extra. Worst case scenario, bawak main dengan kucing.



   

Speech! Speech!

Towards to end of any ceremony, a speech is greatly encouraged in a way of showing appreciation to all guests and who have helped to make event successful.

That goes without saying for weddings too.

Usually, such speeches are held during the 2nd half of the wedding when the bride and groom is wearing their evening outfit; after photo taking and cake cutting. In some circumstances, the father of the bride/groom would make the speech but more often than not, the bride and groom themselves will take the microphone or both!


Especially if you engage a videographer, it is greatly encouraged for the bride and groom to have a speech ready before the big day. This is avoid the "errr... ahhh" moments. It's 'nicer' hear when a speech is smooth and confident.

It's pretty much like the school days where you have to do your presentation. If you are shy and get nervous easily, you can get your parents to say something on your behalf if not, just practice with a mirror.

Of course, those natural talkers don't really need a speech handy but it's always good to have a plan to avoid blabbering to much or forgetting to thank some important people.

Between Jhon and I, I am the shyer one but with practice and hyping myself up internally, I could make myself talk in the mic... I think... haha

Since my guests are a good mixture of Malay and Pinoys, I would break down my speech into 2 languages. I must uphold my Malay roots by speaking Malay! hehe

As for Jhon, he is more of a wing it kind of guy. In fact, I am not surprised if after my speech, he is going to say "Ditto!". haha I just need to make sure he thank everyone and in order.


For those who are unsure how to go about the speech, here's a rough guide. Feel free to change to suit fit to your own style and situation.


And that's it!
I know it looks like a mouthful but it's really not if you keep it simple. Plus, you can discuss with your partner who would speaking the more detailed speech. OR you can just have the groom to say the entire speech on behalf of everyone.