Vendors Overloading & Budgeting

I still have plenty of time to go through and research for wedding vendors so it's not that stressing yet and I can only imagine BTBs who are scrambling to figure out vendors and their costs within a shorter period of time.

To find a vendor that we like is one thing, a vendor that our parents like is another and not to mention the dreaded fact if it's within our budget. Sometimes reading other BTBs low budget tips can also be frustrating because it's either their budget is not exactly low according to our standards or the couple are just so lucky enough to have people to sponsor all the heavy costs.

What's there left for people like us?
How about people who has to settle every expense themselves?

Up this point, I am still working on our budget, figuring how can we cut costs. One thing about us is that we want budget but we also want our wedding to be presentable so that's another challenge, to find a good vendor as suits our tastes but without paying a bomb. 
I don't want to be like this..

or this... 

or this..

or this...

Here's our guideline so far.

1. I laid out a list of vendors, big and small, from wedding deco to photography to  henna.
[list mostly extracted from kahwinkronicles and added more vendors as I go]
[My original list is not as nice as this one. I pretty it up an example just for you =P]

2. Highlight vendors that we are willing to go all the way in budgeting. Such as wedding cards, wedding favors, henna etc. And vendors we are willing to for out a little more.

3. Source out vendors base on preference. Rate them accordingly.

4. Find out their price.
(Price in this list is derived from other BTB or shared by vendor, not price discussed in an 1 on 1 appointment which it should be]

5.Narrow down vendors base on preference vs price.

6. Keep going through point 3, 4 and 5 for each vendor make your selection.

InsyaAllah, I will share my breakdown and will be transparent on my budget and prices when everything is done. 


Running with Books.

It's difficult having to have a proper time slot to run for the past month. It's annoying but I really can't complain because it's either because of the weather or I had to spend the entire noon helping Shibly with homework.

And when I do get to run, it's always difficult to get back on track since the routine was not consistent. I had to figure out a way to push myself further and harder as music is not really working on me. I tend to mentally time myself via music such as soon as I finished OneRepublic - Counting Stars, I've ran about 4+mins, Blink 182 - What's my age again is abt 2+mins, if I ran for 5 songs, it's about 15mins or so.

Any runner will tell you not to care about the time and distance when running but I just can't help it.

That is when I thought of listening to an audio book. Listening to audio books is nothing new to me. I've listened to plenty over the years, on and off borrowing from the National Library. By listening and getting engrossed with the story, I figured I will not focus so much on running but running itself.

The thing is, audio books usually goes for hours and I don't really want to pause each time because what if I want to switch to music on normal days? I will lose my track unless I use another device. But thank God for short stories specifically horror stories. 

So my first test run was Stephen King's One for the road from Night Shift. I rarely read his short stories so I get to listen/read something new. 

I had to pick up Syihab from school after my run/walk so I had about 30 mins to exercise but I managed to clock in 2.92 km within 26 mins. I know it's not much but it was to me because usually my body wants to give up just before reaching 2 km. 

Second time was today, 9 days later. I listened to Stephen King's Popsy from Nightmares & Dreamscapes. I ran a little slower because I was tired in the first place but managed to jog/walk for 34 mins with 2.8 km. Me lasting for half an hour is a feat okay??! 

All that matters was that I was distracted and managed to push myself further. I was mostly in tuned to the narrator and not so focused on how long it has been, breathless, tire and how pathetically unfit I was.

Hopefully, if this keeps up, maybe I can commit myself to a longer audio book.
But for the mean time,


The Gender Specific Roles Game

Living in this day and age, sexism, especially gender specific roles are still existent. More so if you come from an Asian background. Even with such a modern age, women are still expected to able to master cooking, cleaning, child bearing skills and not to mention husband serving skills. These issues tend to surface more after marriage and it's always more focused on the womanly "duties".

Ever heard of the quote
"Men want their wives be chef in the kitchen, a lady/maid in the living room, and a whore in bed"?

Ask any married woman and they will say yes sometimes to a point there is no compromise, no fairness but pure expectations with a reason that it's just a woman's duty. I call myself as a open-minded but conservative, old fashion kind of girl but come on.

Fine, I am okay with "womanly duties" but how about the men? Unfortunately, in this century, the only "manly duties" they get to carry out is just bring in the money and sow their seeds. Is that really it? I refuse to allow it!

To me, what makes a man is not just being the bread winner and be the boss of the house.

If women have their "duties", men have it too. It's just that a modern lifestyle don't really require them to do the manly stuff. It's not just buying a TV, send the computer for repairs or visit IKEA for a simple shoe shelf.

As much as I am okay to be expected to be a "chef/maid/whore",
I expect my man to be a plumber, electrician, IT guy, carpenter and a Casanova.

If my house needs some fixing, my partner should able to do it without a heartbeat and do it well. Of course with an exception if the problem is major. You will be amazed how some men are not auto at all in fixing leaks and even fixing a fan seems difficult. These are also the same men who believe in women have to do their "duties", Go Figure.

That is why I am so lucky to have partner like Jhon. He does not even care about gender duties because he also can cook, clean and sew. Not only that, he is Jhon Jack of all trades.
When my sink was leaking, who fixed it. He did.
Who always fix my laptop? He did.
Who fixed my wall fan? He did.
and recently, he impressed me even more by helping me and my mom by building a pottery/ shoe shelf out of scraps of wood.

It's hard to find such effort in simple carpentry anymore. I am pretty sure if ask anyone else, 'semua tak kuasa' right? While doing his work, my neighbor who is an old man actually joked and said "Why? No money ah? (to get a shelf) Come, I give you money" 

This is called DIY work, uncle. I would think someone of his age would understand this but apparently uncle is orang kaya since young. Anyways, we need specific specifications to fit and since we can do it ourselves, why not? Plus, there is a sense of accomplishment knowing that you built something with your own hands and brains. 

What was the icing of the cake was my dad, who I had watched/ helped doing all kinds of DIY carpentry work as a kid noticed it and complimented Jhon for his work.